I didn’t want a Shitzu. It’ll be embarrassing walking a stupid wee dug I complained. To this day, I keep Shitzu off the lead. I was outvoted 2 to 1 however.

Got her in a Perth tesco carpark,a tiny wee bundle, cried all the way home. She soon settled and started to impose herself on us. Kuro was scared to stand on her, she was tiny. We all shuffled about the house so we didn’t stand on her. She would chase our feet, biting your toes or trouser leg. She was like a gremlin. Our neighbours wee girl was over after school every day, “is Lexi in?”

Shes now 2 and a half, still a radge. I’m putting the bins out, theres a white blur shoots past…Shitzu! But it’s too late, straight across the grass and into Janet’s carport to see the children. Approaching the weans, she slows down, slinks up to them and then …flop…shes on her back. The weans love her, rub her belly. Am watching all this. “Shes at it!” I want to shout,”shes a sleekit wee sh..” And then, her party piece: as the weans get bored of patting her shes up and shoots into Janet’s house for the cat food.”Shitzu!” I roar. Janet just laughs. She has the patience of a saint.

Bedtime and theres this gentle thud at the bottom of the bed. Shitzu curls up at our feet. Almost sweet. By morning the wee shite is right beside our heads. Open your eyes..waaah it’s the Shitzu ! In your face! If your not up when she wants up, shes licking your ears, face. If you ignore that she literally stands on your head, still licking. “Shitzu!”

Shes a character I grudgingly admit, before adding – “character, the Scottish word for an arse”.

Her moment of fame came when she was 6 months old. We were visiting at the hospital and went for a walk by the pond there. Kuro was trying to get a drink out the pond and the Shitzu as ever was copying her. You could feel it coming. I got my phone out, ready. Kuro managed to get a drink but Shitzu was struggling to reach down.

Next thing…splash..shes in and under. Completely disappeared. Amy rushed forward but she had resurfaced. “Leave her” I said”she needs to learn”. So Shitzu hauled herself up on the banking, paused briefly, still in shock. We were in pieces it was the funniest thing ever. Madonna getting out the bath!

She finally clambered out…and went mental…she zoomed back n forth along the banking, stopped to shake herself before zooming away again. Back at the car, we wrapped her in a towel. “She’ll no’ do that again” I said once we all stopped laughing.


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