Day 250

*As an introduction, today is Day 250. I have not touched alcohol in 250 days. I’m still aff it.

I had that dream again last night. In it, I wake up with a drooth and the realisation I had a swally the night before. Ah shite. I count the empty bottles….

Last nights dream had me camping in Harris. The empty bottles were littered around the tent in the morning. I clear up the debris. I go to the wee wooden shop, more like a shed, and by chance I meet Willie. I’ve not seen him since before lockdown. Should I shake his hand ? But he hugs me, it feels good and I hear myself say lets have a dram tonight. Just like that I fall off the wagon…..

When I wake up I am relieved. Just a dream, albeit a strange Covid-19 alcohol anxiety related dream.

Its a good feeling being aff it. Good for the soul. Losing a bit of weight gave me the confidence to go up the hills again. A year ago my hip was sore and in darker moments I thought my hillwalking days were over. An x-ray revealed osteoarthritis. I even bought walking poles as a last resort. Since then I’ve lost a stone in weight and my hip feels fine.

I’ve also started running again, after an absence of 15 years. I’d forgotten the buzz that comes with running. And this Strava thing on my phone means I can see my exact route, altitude climbed, timings for each km ran. Its amazing the technology. Today I ran a 5km in 26 min 5 secs.

And so on our recent holiday to North Uist, I experienced a new sensation. Sobriety each evening meant I could drive to the nearby beach, walk the dogs and watch the sun go down. My wife and daughter came along, sharing a bottle of cider, and we had a great time.

I also twice went for a run in the morning, again a novelty, especially when I got stuck behind a herd of cows on the road. My presence seemed to spur on the cattle into a jog and the crofter even shouted over to me ‘are you looking for a job?’ The second time I ended up on the beach and before I knew it I was in the Atlantic for a quick swim!

The downsides? I feel the cold more, probably because I’ve lost a bit body fat. Need to get thermals before winter. Had this been a normal, non global pandemic year, I would probably miss the pub too but I am in no rush to sit in a pub. Not now.

Which reminds me, see at the start of lockdown when everyone was saying ‘when this is all over we’re gonnae have some party!’

You don’t hear anyone say that anymore. How naive we were !

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